It's really happening
I am really moving. I have said "maybe" and "if" so many times that now that it is happening, I am having trouble believing it. I got the deposit and signed lease on my house this week, and I will be signing my lease for the Barbie Dream House (I am calling it that again) this weekend or early next week. I met with Bob the wonderful landlord Tuesday after going to the middle school and taking a tour. It all just fell together magically. I stressed about my buyer/tenant wondering if she'd back out but now that she has dropped a hunk of money on the deal I feel comfortable about it. So it is time to pack, get ready, and get excited.
I lost another pound magically this week, too. I must just be stressing it off. I want this stress feeling to pass. I was able to concentrate more on work this week even though I still had distractions and things to take care of. I now have a decision and I know where we will live, and I know what needs to be done to make it all happen.
So when I say it's really happening, I don't just mean the move. The weight loss is really happening, too. It continues slowly and steadily. I feel I have some stability there. But I sometimes I cannot believe it is really happening either. I still think of myself as twenty or thirty pounds heavier because I was there for so long. When people ask me how I am doing it I can't really point to a particular diet or exercise plan. But I can tell them that I eat less now, smaller portions and stick to better food. My habits are changed. There is much room for improvement and I could lose faster but I am happy that it is steady and I have not had any significant gains for some time now.
I want to visualize all positive things. Putting together our new home. All the changes being changes for the better. We are almost at the bottom of a sloping hill. I am looking forward to walking up hills. It is flat around here. I like hills. I like hiking uphill. I am looking forward to working in the back yard in the flower beds I have seen - and being surprised at what comes up in the beds. And planting things of my own. All the things I can do now without being held back by my old feelings of being stuck. Things I can do with the new energy I have from being physically lighter. And the feeling of being able to accomplish things.
My brother always says "whatever the Lord wants" whenever I ask him about making plans. It used to bother me because I felt I could not count on him. But then I started to like it. He has had a calming effect on me these days. I appreciate his spirituality more and more. So last time I saw him I told him I was going to make "whatever the Lord wants" my mantra. And I have. When I get into my worrying or indecision or projections and what if's - I stop myself and repeat it over and over. It has been helping me to cope with some of my extreme states of anxiety that I have had during the working out of this move. I feel I am putting my trust in a higher place and I really do feel trust.
So now I know a new adventure is unfolding for my little family. And I truly am willing to go with whatever the Lord wants.
I lost another pound magically this week, too. I must just be stressing it off. I want this stress feeling to pass. I was able to concentrate more on work this week even though I still had distractions and things to take care of. I now have a decision and I know where we will live, and I know what needs to be done to make it all happen.
So when I say it's really happening, I don't just mean the move. The weight loss is really happening, too. It continues slowly and steadily. I feel I have some stability there. But I sometimes I cannot believe it is really happening either. I still think of myself as twenty or thirty pounds heavier because I was there for so long. When people ask me how I am doing it I can't really point to a particular diet or exercise plan. But I can tell them that I eat less now, smaller portions and stick to better food. My habits are changed. There is much room for improvement and I could lose faster but I am happy that it is steady and I have not had any significant gains for some time now.
I want to visualize all positive things. Putting together our new home. All the changes being changes for the better. We are almost at the bottom of a sloping hill. I am looking forward to walking up hills. It is flat around here. I like hills. I like hiking uphill. I am looking forward to working in the back yard in the flower beds I have seen - and being surprised at what comes up in the beds. And planting things of my own. All the things I can do now without being held back by my old feelings of being stuck. Things I can do with the new energy I have from being physically lighter. And the feeling of being able to accomplish things.
My brother always says "whatever the Lord wants" whenever I ask him about making plans. It used to bother me because I felt I could not count on him. But then I started to like it. He has had a calming effect on me these days. I appreciate his spirituality more and more. So last time I saw him I told him I was going to make "whatever the Lord wants" my mantra. And I have. When I get into my worrying or indecision or projections and what if's - I stop myself and repeat it over and over. It has been helping me to cope with some of my extreme states of anxiety that I have had during the working out of this move. I feel I am putting my trust in a higher place and I really do feel trust.
So now I know a new adventure is unfolding for my little family. And I truly am willing to go with whatever the Lord wants.
posted by Cindy at
9:19 PM
2 Comments:
what a nice post.
So happy things are working out for you and you are dropping weight!! Good luck on the move.
I also wanted to tell you congratulations on the compliments from co-workers.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home