Cold Bitter Winter

January was a harsh, cold, bitter month for me. It holds the memory of loss and hurt and disappointment, and struggle. At times I feel the world is as cold and bitter as the weather outside. Maybe it is best to have tragedies in the cold, so the warmer times like springtime are not marred with the memories. This morning my son called with disappointing news and I knew how hurt and sad he was, and I could not do anything to change it. More cold, harsh realities. I was feeling so sad.

But there are warm bright places, too. One bright spot in my life this year is weight loss. The victory in that personal struggle that has gone on for years gives me much hope, and optimism. I bought new jeans over the weekend because all the others are baggy. I wanted one pair of snug fitting pants. I found a pair of levi's in a 12. I am now safely in the 12 and out of anything that can be a plus size. These are little things I think about to measure my progress when the scale is not my friend. My stomach pooched out over the waist and is somewhat of a blob of goo right now, but that did not bother me much. There are exercises and workouts for that. And I can enjoy doing them.

I also had a warm, cozy weekend staying in and cooking healthy foods for the kids. I was sick so I got as much rest as I could. Leaving major tasks for when I am feeling better. It was a very calm weekend and it was good for the kids to be able to relax.

For today I will focus on the bright places. And on the things I can change. I can eat healthy meals and take good care of myself and the two kids living with me today. I can get some exercise and rest. I can drink lots of water. I can continue to maintain my weight loss and move forward with even more loss.

The best way for me to pull myself up is to find what is good in my life and have gratitude for it. And I can always find many things to be grateful for.