Wednesday

Today I accomplished some things I needed to do. I still have not gone back to work yet and cannot imagine doing that right now. But as I get some things off of my plate I think I will feel better about that. I lost another pound and I am at 175. I felt like weighing in today for some reason. We went to the country for Monday night and Tuesday. We took a hike up a hill in the woods and I did some walking with the dog. It was nice to get away and especially nice to get the kids out in the woods. I realize I have raised a city kid. I suggested we go in the woods and she said we would get eaten by coyotes. It was just funny. We took Anthony to see the goats and farm animals and he said they smelled. But he warmed up to feeding the chickens and getting a fresh laid egg out of a nest. He also gave a horse a couple of pets. The cabin is cozy and we had a nice night there. But we had to come back home to reality. I felt really overwhelmed last night when we got home. So many things unfinished and the cat still missing.

I got some rest last night and today felt better. Little by little I tackle each task. My diet has consisted of protein bars, slimfast in a pinch and whatever the healthiest choice is with what I have to work with at the time. I have managed to sneak off to my room right now to get some computer time. Anthony is with my brother in the living room and I think they are either playing with the keyboard or they are playing video games. I went and picked up my brother last night. His presence here makes me feel much better right now. And he stays durning the day so I can go do the things I need to do. I may even go to the gym again soon. The little things I took for granted are real luxuries at the moment. My daughter and I got some alone time running errands together earlier. She went back to school for her last two classes. That was good.

I get alone time with Anthony, too. But right now I like that he is bonding a bit with my brother. I was hoping the two of them would spend time together. It is good for both of them. I am meeting new people now, helpful people. There is a guidance counselor from my grandson's grade school who is very devoted to him still, even though he is in middle school now. She is helping me work out how to keep him in the same school. That is such a blessing.

Right now I think I am in survival mode, attending to things in order of priority and trying to make sure I get some vitamins, protein, water and rest. We all have needs here but we are making sure Anthony's come first. At dinner he looked sad.
Things are winding down and I am starting to crash myself. I feel I have accomplished all I can do for today and rest is now a priority.

Thanks for all the support and comments. More will be revealed.