Return to Sanity

I am getting my calm back. I'm propped up in bed under the covers. I just gave my birds fresh water and the finches are happily splashing in the bath. They love to take baths. I am not sure how the other birds feel about drinking their bathwater. Since they are the smallest birds in the cage and get picked on sometimes, maybe it balances things out a little. Anyway, the happy splashing of the finches reminds me of how content I can be just snuggled up in my room on a cold winter night.

The past few days I have been crazy. It peaked yesterday evening when I felt so totally overwhelmed that I found myself at the point where I believed I could not do anything at all. The thought of getting my house ready to show, and showing it and all that entails just made me nuts. I had spent days obsessing over the whole house thing and riding a rollercoaster of my own invention. And I had started eating things. But it all calmed down after one unexpected phone call.

I had left some online messages about a couple of properties. Something I never do. I am usually too impatient to do that, I just pick up the phone. A very pleasant woman called me late in the evening to respond to the messages. We got to talking about my situation and she said that they had lots of people interested in my zip code. She even thought the school district was good and said she had friends who taught here. She had an associate with their agency that does lease options. She said that he may be interested in leasing my property from me and then he would take on the responsibility of leasing it out with option to buy to someone else. She was really interested in getting us together. She would help me find something to buy and he would help me figure out what to do with my house. It all sounded so positive and logical and even probable.

As we talked ALL my anxiety melted away. I felt so much relief. In fact, I just quit obsessing right there. We set up an appointment for Thursday (tomorrow) and I made a couple of phone calls today to my lender about some things and the answers were good. I spent very little time today even thinking about the situation. I don't know if we'll make any deals or if it will be the ultimate solution, but it broke the cycle. It interrupted the doom and gloom thinking. And today I was back to normal eating. And I feel like myself again.

Thank goodness somebody intervened because I was getting to be a real mess. I don't know if this nice real estate agent has any idea what she did for me. She was just doing what she normally does. But for me it was divine intervention.

One of my favorite movies for children is James and the Giant Peach. I love that movie. One line from it is "Try looking at it a different way" or something close to that. It is in reference to problem solving. That's all I need to do sometimes. And this time it took the help of a stranger to get me to look at things from a different point of view. (Ithink I will make it a point to watch that movie again really soon. If I had it on DVD I would watch it in bed tonight.)

Thanks for putting up with my obsessing. It is nice to have this online diary to record my feelings and even get great feedback from my good buddies.

Anyway, no bizarre food events today but the last couple of days were real slippery and totally off the beam for me. It is good to be back and not to have gone for too long. I can remember entire weeks and longer of being "off" in my eating. So here's to progress!