Blue Funk

I did not lose anything last week, but I did not gain. Glad for that. It has been a moody several days. And I do not feel like I am coping that well. My daughter is having trouble with things like being ready in the morning, turning assignments in on time, and other things revolving around taking care of daily responsibilities. I feel overwhelmed at work and at home right now. I have aches and pains in my neck and shoulders everytime I work at the office. My new laptop is waiting at the Fedex and I am not even excited. I wish I could climb out of this funky feeling but it's not happening yet. I guess right now my happiness is too dependent on other people's behavior. I used to eat over this stuff but right now I am not. I saw some old friends Friday night and found out that a couple of people I knew had recently died. They were acquaintences but I had known one of them over a long period of time. It added to my seriousness, and my pondering of the meaning of life,or maybe just the meaning of my life. I did not realize it until this year but I get depression around the beginning of December. I remember from last year. I usually have something to blame it on, some current event but I think there is a yearly undercurrent. Well, there is a difference this year. I am not overeating and to that extent it I may be even more aware of it, since food is a comfort at times. Like when people give up drinking or drugs, they have to feel everything they avoided feeling. Maybe that is what I am doing now.