Nervous Nelly

I had to put my car in the shop this morning. It was making scary noises all weekend. I wanted to be proactive and not wait until I was stranded on the side of some highway to get if fixed. So I am at home waiting for them to call. I have no internet access to my work files and e-mails like I normally have. Something to do with a system upgrade over the weekend. So I am not in touch with anyone unless they call. So far, no nervous eating in response to this. But I feel a bit out of sorts. Car problems make me feel vulnerable. But this time it is going pretty smooth.

I still feel nervous. Sometimes when the pounds are coming off and I am eating less, I get a little on edge. I did not fall asleep easily last night. If I have coffee, it effects me more than usual. I find myself worrying in bed about things. My father's memory loss and confusion. My daughter's teenage adjustments. My changing body. The what if's creep in. My meditation for the day was about anxiety. And how when we ate in response to it in the past, we never really faced it or worked through it. That is what I am going through. Not having the diversion or comfort of food, I am faced with the raw emotions, and the nervousness of anxiety. It takes effort on my part to ask myself what is really bothering me at the moment, and what if anything I can do about it. But I am willing to make those efforts today.

I just wish they'd hurry up and fix my car.