Thursday's almost Friday!
Yoga was awesome last night. I felt so good afterward that I wanted to stop off at Manfriend's. I pulled up and found a cute young woman sitting outside waiting for him. They were going somewhere together. He had a plausible explanation but it felt bad. I have found him with her before. He has a great excuse. But it felt bad. It's a common thread. He has lots of women "friends" that he needs to stay in relationships with. That's the kind of guy he is. Maybe that's a fine way to be. But it's confusing to me and I decided that for me, this is not a good situation. So I broke up with him later in the night. I have been pondering it for quite a little while now. There were many things that were good about the relationship but there were also a stack of things that were not so good. I decided the good did not outweigh the not so good.
I feel sad but I also feel relief. I wish I could be more detached and objective about men but once we get into that intimate stage, and I feel all kinds of loving feelings, I cant'. I am what I am. I am not for him, he's definitely not for me. Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, right??
I don't have much of an appetite. That lovesick thing. I'm tired but at peace. I know I did the right thing for both of us, but especially for me. I want to be true to myself. In all areas of my life.
Well, Thursday's almost Friday. Friday used to be rush around to get to Man friend on time. Now perhaps I can relax and take it easy. The opportunities are endless.
More will be revealed.
I feel sad but I also feel relief. I wish I could be more detached and objective about men but once we get into that intimate stage, and I feel all kinds of loving feelings, I cant'. I am what I am. I am not for him, he's definitely not for me. Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, right??
I don't have much of an appetite. That lovesick thing. I'm tired but at peace. I know I did the right thing for both of us, but especially for me. I want to be true to myself. In all areas of my life.
Well, Thursday's almost Friday. Friday used to be rush around to get to Man friend on time. Now perhaps I can relax and take it easy. The opportunities are endless.
More will be revealed.
posted by Cindy at
8:29 AM
4 Comments:
You are so right. It is definitely better to have loved and lost than never to have loved. I am the same. It confuses me that a man can so easily be in relationships with more than one woman. I think what makes it worse is that usually that territory comes with many lies as guys like that tend to want to keep ALL their women at peace and happy.
I admire your ability to be able to step back and end things. I tend to stay in there. Do not even want to think about it as in my record I just do not do relationships well. Probably need to qualify it honestly, I have had only a few relationships in my life, they tend to destroy and flatten me and I need many years to recover, think this last one that ended in January 2006 has probably been the last one in my life time, not much left of me to recover.
Think with your kind of attitude, which is strong, healthy and wholesome, with lots of self-respect, you are bound to find someone of the same as is meant to be.
Wish you all the beautiful flowers there are and the most magnificent gardens with Roman fountains, strong ones that spew right up in the air, tall trees, peace and happiness ... and plenty of hugs ... :>)
hugs
Sorry to hear about Manfriend, but it sounds like you did the right thing. It all goes along with taking care of yourself and you are doing a really good job! But that doesn't mean it's not hard. Enjoy the lack of appetite...I tend to EAT when sad (and all other times, unfortunately!).
Cindy, I don't know your history with manfriend, but it sounds like you did the absolutely right thing. If you'd done otherwise I would have been surprised. Just with the short time I've been reading your blog I can tell you have a ton of integrity and do the right thing in small and big things. So, even though it's tough now, it's much easier than it would have been later, and you never know what God has in store for you now that this man is out of the picture.
Take care of yourself, and oh yeah, glad Yoga was a great class for you!
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