Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Retreat


I am longing for a retreat. Maybe just a retreat into my own home, with an excursion to my favorite woods. This picture is one I took on my Sunday hike. the path leads to the bluffs overlooking the river and my meditation rocks. I want to go there and spend as much time as I wish, reading, or doing nothing at all, just taking in the surroundings. Relaxing. I also want to spend some time in my house, doing whatever I feel like doing. Playing a little guitar, reading, napping, listening to my birds, petting that cat (the one that likes to be petted, that is) walking the dog. Simple things. Easy things. No running around in the car shopping. No having to be anywhere at any certain time. That would be retreat for me.
I thought about going to my friend's cabin this weekend, without the kids. But that did not interest me nearly as much as staying home with no plans whatsoever, no commitments and no obligations. I have been eating more this week, and it is getting to me. I have that bloated feeling that I have not had for a while. I used to live in this bloated feeling. I don't anymore and it bothers me when it is here. I am very thankful that I no longer live in the bloat and that the bloat is not a permanent threat, just an occasional episode. It used to dominate me. Now I feel more like I dominate it. I can make it go away by getting my food back to normal. And that is what I am doing tonight. It is a fluctuation. It will be gone soon.
I love the fall. My little yard is covered with layers of big leaves. Blankets of them. I love the crunching under my feet and the color all over the ground. I guess I am supposed to rake them, and I will eventually but I love them right where they are for now. In fact, I love everything right where it is for now. Everything is not perfect, not nearly. It does not have to be. Not long ago I started thinking about how we are all perfect in our imperfection. It was a spiritual truth of sorts that dawned on me in one of my meditations.
Earlier this evening I was worrying about the kids, thinking we don't do things as a family and so on. But I have decided not to fret about things and sit back and admire things the way they are. There are many amazing things to marvel over. So that's what I am going to do right now.

5 Comments:

Blogger Helen said...

I miss the midwestern autumn...thanks for the photo! :-)

3:51 PM  
Blogger Lori G. said...

I really enjoyed parts of my weekend where I really didn't do much or even better, when I found the energy to actually prepare something.

It's way cool that you feel you are in control of your body and your mind. I want that. Take care of yourself.

9:05 AM  
Blogger Grumpy Chair said...

I remember last year you and your daughter went to your friend's cabin. When I read your title, I figured that was where you were headed.

When I was single, I would just love weekends by myself to read and take as many baths as I wanted to, but now with the kids, I rarely get the chance to read.

I think it is great you can retreat in your own home.

8:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi,i just came by your blog,through the angry fat girlz blog.
Its nice,to read,your words of motivation,and positive thinking.
It is true,we generally tend,to easily feel negative and low.
To think postive for a change is surely a better deal-)

safia.

11:18 PM  
Blogger Vickie said...

Are you doing okay? I stop by every day and am wondering if you are happily busy???

6:17 AM  

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