Staving Off Depression

I feel like I am struggling to stay out of a full blown depression. The feeling hit last week, and I thought it might be in response to the tragedy last Monday. But this week I am really tired, all the time, and struggling to focus on my job. In spite of it I have made sure to exercise each day for the past five days, no matter what. I have walked, and even had my first trip to the gym since reactivating my membership. Maybe it is not depression, could be allergies, or a number of things, but it feels like it, and that is always a little scary. The scary part is when I feel like not doing anything, and that is the part I have to make a big effort to overcome.

So I do things in spite of the feeling. I get out of bed when I would rather stay in. I go to work when I would rather call in. I take a walk when I would rather just stay on the couch and watch TV and eat. I believe the feeling will pass. And I believe that if I take some extra steps now, I can help lessen the negative impact. And maybe avoid a downward spiral. But it is scary because I have lived in this funk before and it is not a good place to be. It can be devastating to my progress, too.

I have noticed over the years that I get this in the Spring. The reason I remember is because I always think it odd to have depression at such a lovely time of year. Last Spring I quit going to the gym and never got back into my routine of regular workouts. I recall other Springs when I sought professional help, and one spring when I planted a flower garden to concentrate on to help my mood. I have even thought that the allergies and sinus troubles I get could make me feel depressed. Who knows, but one thing I want to make sure of is that I do everything to avoid sinking into the abyss.

I did some exercises this morning before I got ready for work. And tonight the dog and I have a date for a nice long walk. Last night I did not clean up the kitchen, and that depresses me, so I want to make sure I tidy it tonight. Waking up to a clean kitchen has a positive psychological impact on me, and waking up to a messy one, well, has the opposite effect. I will enlist the kids to help out. I refuse to be defeated.