The End of Fluffy Week and Focusing on the How, and not the Why
Okay, this is it. The end of the bloated, fluffy week. I still feel puffed up and icky but I am observing the right eating parameters today and having plenty of water. I hope I can recover from the fluffing out that occurred this week. Fluff is a nice way of saying I got bigger this week. I gained. So it's back to basics. No frozen latte in the morning (for Pete's sake, what was I thinking?) and none of the other silliness that has been going on.
For today my desire to lose weight is greater than my desire to do the things I have been doing this past week, like revert to old binge food (raman noodles..eek), bake cookies, partake in the office bagel thing, and have that frozen latte (even though it was a light) every day. My desire to be healthy is greater than my desire to have any of that stuff. I have a desire to eat my packed lunch. In fact, part way to work I realized I forgot my lunch so I turned around and went home and got it. And, I have a desire to go home tonight and cut veggies and cook lean protien. I have a desire to stock up on the right food for me. And hunt down that Ezekiel bread, too. I have a desire to exercise. Those desires are now stronger than my desire to grab an offending snack.
I revisited the old ways, and I got the same result as I always got. Body fat, bloat, and so on. So, this is the end of Fluffy week. Plain and simple.
I read the Food for Thought meditation for today on the Hazelden website. The last lines went like this:
By realizing that food holds no ultimate "ah," we can stop destroying ourselves by chasing a rainbow which does not exist.
May I stop searching for happiness where it is not to be found.
Maybe I was looking for the ultimate "ah" this week. It was not there. I had been on stress overload for weeks, and this week I felt some relief. I may have reverted back to what I used to call "relief eating" where when I got through some major crisis or tough moment, I'd eat then, instead of during the stressful time. Who knows? I believe that today for me the "why" is not as important as the "how". I may never exactly pin down why I ate so much this week. But I can pin down How to stop.
There is a solution, a process for that, the How. A detoxing process of not eating certain foods, and drinking lots of water and exercising. There is always a solution or a How. Sometimes the Why gets me confused, and I stay pondering the Why while I continue to eat poorly. So I decide just to focus on the How. The Why can be dark and deep and depressing. The How is optimistic and exciting. I have put a good effort into the Why these past years, and that is good. But when the Why overwhelms me, I take a break. So, for today, it's all about the How.
Update - After writing this I took a half hour brisk walk outside the office and climbed my usual three flights of steps back to my office. I now feel I have acted on my desires and I am living in the How.
For today my desire to lose weight is greater than my desire to do the things I have been doing this past week, like revert to old binge food (raman noodles..eek), bake cookies, partake in the office bagel thing, and have that frozen latte (even though it was a light) every day. My desire to be healthy is greater than my desire to have any of that stuff. I have a desire to eat my packed lunch. In fact, part way to work I realized I forgot my lunch so I turned around and went home and got it. And, I have a desire to go home tonight and cut veggies and cook lean protien. I have a desire to stock up on the right food for me. And hunt down that Ezekiel bread, too. I have a desire to exercise. Those desires are now stronger than my desire to grab an offending snack.
I revisited the old ways, and I got the same result as I always got. Body fat, bloat, and so on. So, this is the end of Fluffy week. Plain and simple.
I read the Food for Thought meditation for today on the Hazelden website. The last lines went like this:
By realizing that food holds no ultimate "ah," we can stop destroying ourselves by chasing a rainbow which does not exist.
May I stop searching for happiness where it is not to be found.
Maybe I was looking for the ultimate "ah" this week. It was not there. I had been on stress overload for weeks, and this week I felt some relief. I may have reverted back to what I used to call "relief eating" where when I got through some major crisis or tough moment, I'd eat then, instead of during the stressful time. Who knows? I believe that today for me the "why" is not as important as the "how". I may never exactly pin down why I ate so much this week. But I can pin down How to stop.
There is a solution, a process for that, the How. A detoxing process of not eating certain foods, and drinking lots of water and exercising. There is always a solution or a How. Sometimes the Why gets me confused, and I stay pondering the Why while I continue to eat poorly. So I decide just to focus on the How. The Why can be dark and deep and depressing. The How is optimistic and exciting. I have put a good effort into the Why these past years, and that is good. But when the Why overwhelms me, I take a break. So, for today, it's all about the How.
Update - After writing this I took a half hour brisk walk outside the office and climbed my usual three flights of steps back to my office. I now feel I have acted on my desires and I am living in the How.
posted by Cindy at
12:00 PM
3 Comments:
Good for you!! This really resonated with me today...I have remembered (I forget a lot!) that I feel SO much better when I am eating healthy and in moderation. My face even looks better, brighter-eyed. So why why WHY do I not do this all the time? I wish I knew...
I notice my complexion looks tons better with good eating and exercise. It looked horrible the week after Valentine's because I was picking through my son's candy and pulling out the dark chocolate Mr. Goodbars to eat. The slightest bit of sugar or honey, breaks my face out (even though a doctor will tell you food doesnt . . . it does me.)
Great post Cindy. Another reminder that the ah moment is temporary and the desire to be thinner outweighs the momentary compulsion.
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