Thanks to the Universe!!
I had the perfect message from the Universe today:
You needn't worry. There is time. You have all the time in the world. You preceded time and you will exist beyond it. Age is irrelevant; more meaningless than a number. Forever, Cynthia, you have FOREVER. There is no dream you now have that you will not manifest. There is no challenge you now face that you will not crush and dispose of. There is no point in spending one more second of your awesome, amazing life, thinking anything to the contrary.
Olé, The Universe
This whole 50 thing. And the little weight gain and the tick tock of the clock running and the dwindling time to prepare for the trip. Yesterday I ate the birthday food with my co-workers. Today I "feel" skinnier. Too funny. I decided to put off weighing until tomorrow, though. I was getting way hung up on numbers.
I am taking a big step when I return from vacation. I am going to a support group for women recovering from abusive relationships. I am going to see a counselor. It is through my church. I encouraged a friend to do it because she suffering in a relationship and I see how she is getting help. I want help for me. I may not be in any obviously abusive relationship, but I am not healed or recovered from the ones in the past. And my behavior, with the whole dating the Weed and not wanting the Weed, breaking up with the Weed, taking the Weed back, not being able to resist the Weed, not liking what I am doing etc. still needs to be addressed. I want so much better for my life.
I had nightmares the past two nights but when I wake up I am SO relieved. I am grateful they are not real. I am not sure what is going on with me but I know I need to get a little extra help. I look forward to it. I have connected with a few women lately who all have issues with the past abuse and they are going to go to this group. I don't have to do it alone. When I think about getting the help, I cry and feel like I may not be able to stop so I know I have losses yet to grieve. It does not scare me, it encourages me to go to where I can find comfort and heal.
Anyway, I may not post prior to leaving and I may not get to post while away. I will be out experiencing family and life and trying to eat sanely. . .
Thanks everybody for being here for me these past couple of years. I could not have lost weight and gained the insight and strength I have today without you!!!
You needn't worry. There is time. You have all the time in the world. You preceded time and you will exist beyond it. Age is irrelevant; more meaningless than a number. Forever, Cynthia, you have FOREVER. There is no dream you now have that you will not manifest. There is no challenge you now face that you will not crush and dispose of. There is no point in spending one more second of your awesome, amazing life, thinking anything to the contrary.
Olé, The Universe
This whole 50 thing. And the little weight gain and the tick tock of the clock running and the dwindling time to prepare for the trip. Yesterday I ate the birthday food with my co-workers. Today I "feel" skinnier. Too funny. I decided to put off weighing until tomorrow, though. I was getting way hung up on numbers.
I am taking a big step when I return from vacation. I am going to a support group for women recovering from abusive relationships. I am going to see a counselor. It is through my church. I encouraged a friend to do it because she suffering in a relationship and I see how she is getting help. I want help for me. I may not be in any obviously abusive relationship, but I am not healed or recovered from the ones in the past. And my behavior, with the whole dating the Weed and not wanting the Weed, breaking up with the Weed, taking the Weed back, not being able to resist the Weed, not liking what I am doing etc. still needs to be addressed. I want so much better for my life.
I had nightmares the past two nights but when I wake up I am SO relieved. I am grateful they are not real. I am not sure what is going on with me but I know I need to get a little extra help. I look forward to it. I have connected with a few women lately who all have issues with the past abuse and they are going to go to this group. I don't have to do it alone. When I think about getting the help, I cry and feel like I may not be able to stop so I know I have losses yet to grieve. It does not scare me, it encourages me to go to where I can find comfort and heal.
Anyway, I may not post prior to leaving and I may not get to post while away. I will be out experiencing family and life and trying to eat sanely. . .
Thanks everybody for being here for me these past couple of years. I could not have lost weight and gained the insight and strength I have today without you!!!
posted by Cindy at
9:21 AM
3 Comments:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY and have a great trip. You are very smart to find help for yourself. I think that it is likely that every single one of us needs to do that for ourselves - and very few seem to do it. . .
Happy Birthday!! :-)
I love The Universe -- I often think of what it says to me all day.
Good luck with your work when you come back...that first step is hard, but so worth it.
And, on a totally unrelated topic, next year, you come to Burning Man with us!! :-))
Happy Birthday. Fifty is great. Odd coincidence about the forever thing. I got the same message. Mine came in the words, "Now is the vestibule of forever." No worries, no hurries, we have forever. Do you suppose God is sending out email to humanity?
Glad you are getting help with the
Weed thing. I know this one inside out. Somewhere along the line we were taught abuse was love. Now it is our job to unlearn this teaching. You are already half way home.
Have fun on the trip.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home