Staying the Same
I decided I don't want to lose any more weight for a while. For one, I can't afford any new clothes and I have my summer wardrobe already purchased! For another, I like the size I am, and maintaining this weight is realistic for me. I don't feel like pushing lower right now. I want to tone up at the size where I am. I also want to get used to just being and not being on the way. I want accept and enjoy being where I am.
I believe that I can eat the way I have been eating and maintain this size. Since I now have a new fear (I must just have a thing for fear) of not having a figure, or being too skinny (I still find this one amusing) I am staying put. No more goal stretching and moving the mark.
I wrote about maintaining the other day. I want to maintain some other things, too. Peace of mind, stability, in my home life, family life, personal life. I want to maintain balance all around.
And enjoy life. I am leaning toward looking at my career and seeing what my next adventure is in that area of my life. Personal enrichment.
When I finish When Food is Love, I think I will take break from self help books. Read some gardening books. Read my Bird by Bird book about writing, and go ahead with my writing and taking pictures experience that I have neglected.
I have a clear understanding of how to eat healthy and appropriately to maintain my weight. I also have a good grasp of how much working out I can do and what is comfortable for me. No obsessing and complusing, just living my new way of living that supports the normal body mass.
I keep track of my meals but it is second nature to me. I know what meals have what amount of calories, and fiber so I mix and match them up. I also weigh everyday, give or take a day or two, to keep in reality and to stay accountable.
I want to have healthy practices to take care of myself to avoid going back to old ways that fostered emotional eating and binging. I know what those are. I do them already.
So right now I am there and I am going to enjoy and stay there a while. At the goal weight.
Does this make sense?? I think I should post photos so you guys can comment. I still don't have a grasp on what I really look like, but I am much more comfortable with it. I wear my shorts and tanks and just let it be.
I believe that I can eat the way I have been eating and maintain this size. Since I now have a new fear (I must just have a thing for fear) of not having a figure, or being too skinny (I still find this one amusing) I am staying put. No more goal stretching and moving the mark.
I wrote about maintaining the other day. I want to maintain some other things, too. Peace of mind, stability, in my home life, family life, personal life. I want to maintain balance all around.
And enjoy life. I am leaning toward looking at my career and seeing what my next adventure is in that area of my life. Personal enrichment.
When I finish When Food is Love, I think I will take break from self help books. Read some gardening books. Read my Bird by Bird book about writing, and go ahead with my writing and taking pictures experience that I have neglected.
I have a clear understanding of how to eat healthy and appropriately to maintain my weight. I also have a good grasp of how much working out I can do and what is comfortable for me. No obsessing and complusing, just living my new way of living that supports the normal body mass.
I keep track of my meals but it is second nature to me. I know what meals have what amount of calories, and fiber so I mix and match them up. I also weigh everyday, give or take a day or two, to keep in reality and to stay accountable.
I want to have healthy practices to take care of myself to avoid going back to old ways that fostered emotional eating and binging. I know what those are. I do them already.
So right now I am there and I am going to enjoy and stay there a while. At the goal weight.
Does this make sense?? I think I should post photos so you guys can comment. I still don't have a grasp on what I really look like, but I am much more comfortable with it. I wear my shorts and tanks and just let it be.
posted by Cindy at
10:55 AM
5 Comments:
Balance is a perfect goal to work for and acheive. It sounds like you are there right now! And balance isn't easy...think about how it is standing on a balance beam or balance ball or teeter-totter. It feels great when you are THERE, and it feels great when you lean to one side and get back THERE. :-)
Enjoy your balance. I don't need a photo to know you are THERE. :-)
This sounds like a great plan, Cindy. I'd love to see pictures, too. I bet you're super cute in your shorts & tank tops. Isn't it amazing to feel comfortable in your own skin (well, clothes at least--my skin alone, not so much =)? I love that feeling.
I think that as you get closer and closer to your "ultimate" goal, even small losses look much bigger on your reduced frame. So treading weight sounds like an excellent goal for the summer. Would that I were in your predicament!
http://debbyweighsin.wordpress.com/
Debby wrote:
Great post Jill, and congratulations on your weight loss! It is a lot, and fast, but it seems like you are eating well, and learning to make new kinds of food, and ENJOYING exercise, so it seems like it will be okay. Just from my observation, myself and others, the faster the weight comes off, the more you have to work to keep it off, but its all okay, as long as it stays OVER THERE…in the corner…with all the old discarded fat suits.
Your feeling about being in a fat suit, and your description of enjoying your body working well and moving freely…sometimes I say that people are in a prison and they don’t even realize it. Sometimes because they have lived that way so long that they don’t even know there is a different, better way to live. Of course there are lots of prisons that people put themselves into besides being overweight. Living in debt
is the one I see a lot of. But there are so many overweight people with chronic pain that just don’t believe that weight loss will dramatically improve the quality of their life.
Well, once again, my reply is bloggily incorrectly long! Have a great weekend!
Then I added:
I didn’t exercise at all - the first time I lost (nearly) all my weight (and then regained) and I think a big part of my regain - is that I didn’t HAVE all of those feelings.
My trip down (and then up) was very quick.
That time - I didn’t have the fat suit feeling.
I didn’t agonise over my belly fat.
I didn’t take note of all the Non-scale victories.
I just thought - YIPPEEE - the weight is coming off.
I think of that weight loss like a very fast elevator ride - where the elevator hit bottom and then bounced right back up.
I just went into the living room to get a book off the top shelf. This involved taking off my slippers, putting my left foot on the window seat, and stepping the right foot up to counter top level and pulling the rest of me along with it.
I stood barefoot on the counter top level cabinet - searched for my book on the top shelf (ceiling is 9 foot that room and shelf is tucked just below ceiling), found it - stepped back down to window seat - tucking my foot under the cushon (sp?) and stepped back down with my right foot all the way to the floor - and I NOTICED the ease in which I did it.
I started yoga (and pilates) right at the beginning of this weight loss. It made me VERY body aware. It improved my strength, tone, posture and mindfulness. It taught me to quiet my mind. It is a big part of my maintenance.
This was all on Jill's blog:
http://thesassypear.wordpress.com/
Just wanted to share.
I think you are BRILLIANT for being careful and slow so you don't bounce. I too decided not to go all the way to my goal number. I payed attention to my body and MY MIND and that was very prudent - for me. I think you are making good choices for you too.
after I posted that - It occurred to me that the word "prison" had different feelings for you - I thought about deleting the whole thing - but wanted to share the beauty of what Debby wrote. sorry if I offended! Didn't mean to - and hugs to you if I did.
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