The Joys of Being Caffeine Free

I completed my first week caffeine free. The withdrawal is most likely finished according to what I have read, although I did see where it could last up to nine days. But today I feel great. One thing that I noticed immediately was that the undercurrent of anxiety that plagued me most of the time is gone. It has vanished. I read that feeling as fear and stress. I often got fixated on a problem or issue and could not let go of it. I felt more compulsive, or impulsive with the constant buzzing of the stimulant. The absence of it makes me feel stable and calm most of the time. More in control. This morning when I walked into my office I felt an almost overwhelming sense of well being. It's great. It is not chemically induced!

My Drastic (Helen should get a copyright on Drastic!) did not start yesterday. It was my night out with daughter and we went to a Chinese buffet. There is nothing Drastic about that. In fact, I forgot how icky that food eventually makes me feel. It would be great if it was not laced in sauces and sodium and other stuff. I did not eat an overwhelming amount of food but it was way more than I normally eat. We used to eat out all the time but back then I weighed 40-50 pounds more than I do now. I enjoyed eating out with her but now I have that Chinese food hangover of a slight swollen feeling. Next time we will do a different type of food.

So I can Drastic today, and I am. Drastic now becoming a verb. I brought a supply of food and I know how much there is, how many calories, etc. I can eat all of it before the end of the work day, in any order. It feels great to be prepared. I also brought some herbal teas. I love tea. And I can drink it without consequence. With coffee I had to always put something in it and that added calories. With tea, I don't add anything. I am excited about having a productive day at the office, including a workout on my lunch hour.

I am excited about something else, too. I am signing up for a spiritual retreat. It's in June - 12th - 15th. A friend of mine was telling me about it last night. She went last year. I called the guy and left a message and I hope to get in. I need something like that. I'm looking forward to it.

I am in awe of this caffeine free state. I was loading up on the stuff constantly, thinking I needed it. But it perpetuated it's own need. It was a hamster wheel in and of itself. I am sure some people can drink it normally, but not me. I overdid it. Without it I have more clarity, and it is easier to relax. I have not had as many distorted thoughts. I went to a shrink years ago when I wanted treatment for eating disorders. He told me to stop drinking caffeine. He was not very helpful about the food, in fact not at all. He did not acknowledge I had a problem. But he did have something there with the advice on the caffeine.

Anyway, today I am celebrating my freedom from the bondage of caffeine.

More will be revealed!