Walking my Garden

I walked my garden this morning. I saw flowers I did not know where there. They were hidden behind other plants. I saw plants I grew last year returning. I saw empty spaces, opportunities for new plants to grow this year. I can pick my plants. It's like my life today. I have an empty space where Man friend was. I can fill it with something new. I can pick how I fill it. I don't mean another man. I mean other activity, other pursuits. Could be another man sometime, but not necessarily. I am walking in the garden of my life.

It is another sunny spring morning. Fresh and new. I have peace and hope today. Last night I went to the gym and had a 40 minute cardio session. It was nice and sweaty. Today is yoga day. After yoga I am not stopping off anywhere risky like last week. I want the full benefit of my session. I may go to the river and sit for a few minutes before going home. I am looking forward to it.

I am also looking forward to getting my house cleaned up and doing a few things to it. My room is overwhelming. I am going to break it down into sections. First, the laundry and clothes. And the bird cages. Then I will see what is next. Spring cleaning. It feels good.

I am remembering the hope and optimism I had last spring when I first moved here. It has been an experience I will say that. But the cool thing is I continued my path of weight loss and personal growth. I have remained faithful and hopeful. I learn from everything. I see the good in things and look for the beauty. I always find the things to be thankful for.

I have fond memories of my wacky and somewhat excruciating romance of last summer. I grew from that. Last summer was the first time I was able to wear summer clothes with pleasure and excitement. And the first time in years I was brave enough to have a romantic encounter with a man. I have a fondness for the memory of last summer. My flower gardening, my trips to Ohio, all kinds of things. This summer is sure to bring even more adventures.

I am sure I will look back on this winter's experiences with fondness in time. Right now I feel more of the struggle and some sadness but perhaps I have not yet harvested the nourishment and growth from the experiences. It takes time. But I have faith it will be revealed to me. I have so much to look forward to.

I am looking forward to an art project I have been planning in my head for some time now. It involves taking pictures. I am also looking forward to having time to write more. I may set aside some time on Friday night to go somewhere with my laptop and write. That is what I envisioned doing when I bought this laptop. Life interrupted that plan for a while. But now I have more life experience under my belt. It can only get better and better.

More will be revealed