The Excitement of Life

The past two Monday nights my daughter and I have gone out under the guise of doing the grocery shopping, but really to have girl time. We do a little shopping and we eat out together. I have been trying on clothes and holding out on buying much ,but some stuff is hard to pass up. Last night I tried on a skirt and some capri pants in size 8 and found that they were a little loose in the waist. (that's an out of body experience, a single digit size having any looseness - this does not happen to a girl like me). Since I believe I will take a little more off in the waist I did not buy them. I found a pair of pink denim long shorts - just below the knee, styled like a capri I suppose, hard to describe but really cute. They were an 8 and fit snug in the waist. I bought them. I would have never bought anything like that in the past. Pastel did not work for me. It amazes me to be able to put clothes on that I had already mourned away during my heavier days. I gave up the idea that I'd ever be able to wear certain clothes again. I put on medium tops and even some things in a small and they fit. Feminine, girly things. Pretty things. It is surreal.

But it is exciting, wonderfully new and exciting.. I keep reminding myself to rejoice the fact that I am almost to my goal. I never thought I'd get there, really. It is exciting. Spring is exciting. Seeing what is blooming each new day is exciting. Seeing the sun rising this morning when I drove my brother to work was exciting. I would not have seen it if he was not staying with me right now. I'd still have been in bed. I want to see what's blooming next in my life. I don't want to miss it. I want to be up and awake so I can see it. I want to pay attention to the here and now.

Ending a relationship in favor of perhaps one day having a better one is exciting. Passing by the passover treats in favor of reaching my goal is exciting. Today I am going to celebrate the excitement of life.