Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My....

A cute boy asked me if I'd like to go out sometime. I said yes. I gave him my numbers. I have not dated in a year and a half. The thought startled me once it sank in. I was genuinely alarmed at the whole idea. The truth is I am not much into the idea of dating right now. Seems like a hassle. But there is something about this particular man. We have talked a couple of times while out with a group of other people and it feels like we could talk for hours. Yes, I'd like to go out with him sometime. Maybe not exactly now. It is nice that he asked. I toyed with the idea of him asking after the first time we talked. Sometimes there is an undeniable connection. The way some one's face lights up when they talk to me or the little zing that happens when their eyes are looking into my eyes. It happens maybe once every ten years or so for me.

But this Dorothy is not in Kansas anymore when it comes to men. I go way over the rainbow. I have been known to lose touch with reality.

Forget that, more about the boy. I have seen him twice and he captured my attention. In his white T-shirt and Levis, unpretentious and James Dean-ish. Sweet when he told me about his parakeet that had an extensive vocabulary, and his pot bellied pig that he had to give back because it became aggressive. Bright and thoughtful. There is something about his eyes. They are big and blue and they light up with enthusiasm when he speaks. And, he is almost sort of close to my age. I like the idea of getting lost in those eyes for hours listening to his stories,maybe on the riverfront outside a nice cafe. I'd also be content with our Friday night conversations, the rest of the group chattering in the background. Safe and cozy. I honestly don't feel up to a real date. A spark or two is okay but fireworks could freak me out.

Okay, that's all the boy talk. I have been a festering emotional sore for most of the week and it has begun to heal. Today I felt forgiveness coming over me and a softening. I owe some amends. I have been a jerk about a couple of things. Life is too short to be a jerk. My son wants to get married. I have fought the idea because of the circumstances, and the girl. Feeling superior and justified in my outrage. Wanting to control. I have to give it up. Those ways will kill me. So I am going to shop for rings instead. I will embrace his wishes and love him through it. Kicking and screaming I was. I surrender.

My eating has been sane for the past couple of days and in spite of sloppy eating earlier in the week I have lost a pound. I am pushing to keep it off for my Monday weigh-in so I can FINALLY officially get off this plateau. I wish I could frame it, that one little pound, like people used to frame the first dollar their business earned. It feels monumental, another first in a long series of firsts.

PS I can now link so these are the blogs I wanted to link earlier in the week:

Buela

Vickie

Grumpy

Helen

Belle

AFG

Lori

Jen

Daisy


There are more than five but these are the blogs I go to regularly and they all inspire me and make me think. The tagging game may be over by now but I am happy to have learned to link...