Thursday is almost Friday
I am still making better choices in food, but probably not better enough to lose any weight. But enough to perhaps not gain. I feel like I have been on this plateau for a long, long time. This plateau, however, is much better than where I was even year ago. I think I am about ten pounds down from then, and a whole thirty something down from the year before, and a total of 44 down from 2005. I need to remind myself of that when I start feeling frustrated. I look at old blog entries and celebrate progress.
I'd still like to get to 155 and see what that is like. It's a mere 5-7 pounds away. A couple of weeks on a good food plan would take those off and then I could see if that's where I want to stay. I've been feeling sickish this week and have not been to the gym. I am going to go for a while this afternoon. I moved brother's things on Tuesday night with the help of ManFriend and my buddy Joe. It went pretty easy. I helped and it made my shoulder and back sore.
I feel I am having some sort of relationship moment with ManFriend. I want to have a talk with him about a situation that involves an ex girlfriend of his. In this conversation will be questions about what our relationship is. I need to do for myself, so I decide how to proceed in this relationship. It is a little scary for me. I am afraid of what I might find out and feel like a wimp. I was really hurt by the situation I got in last summer, and that guy was miserable. I actually respect this one and share many things with him already. I feel strong enough and worthy enough to ask the things I want to ask. Depending on how it goes, I could be backing off of the relationship a little. You know what, though, it's honestly not that scary after all. I feel secure enough with myself and my life to know that my overall happiness and self worth are not dependent on what happens with this man. At least I feel like that most of the time.
I am not wild about fear. It causes all kinds of problems. None of which can be solved by food. Speaking of food the girl scout cookies came today and I ate thin mints, more than enough. But I am satisfied and finished with them. I had my fill. I am going to respond to fear by reading uplifting things, by making positive statements in my head, by looking back at my life and seeing how many things I have overcome, and doing good, healthy things for myself.
I'd still like to get to 155 and see what that is like. It's a mere 5-7 pounds away. A couple of weeks on a good food plan would take those off and then I could see if that's where I want to stay. I've been feeling sickish this week and have not been to the gym. I am going to go for a while this afternoon. I moved brother's things on Tuesday night with the help of ManFriend and my buddy Joe. It went pretty easy. I helped and it made my shoulder and back sore.
I feel I am having some sort of relationship moment with ManFriend. I want to have a talk with him about a situation that involves an ex girlfriend of his. In this conversation will be questions about what our relationship is. I need to do for myself, so I decide how to proceed in this relationship. It is a little scary for me. I am afraid of what I might find out and feel like a wimp. I was really hurt by the situation I got in last summer, and that guy was miserable. I actually respect this one and share many things with him already. I feel strong enough and worthy enough to ask the things I want to ask. Depending on how it goes, I could be backing off of the relationship a little. You know what, though, it's honestly not that scary after all. I feel secure enough with myself and my life to know that my overall happiness and self worth are not dependent on what happens with this man. At least I feel like that most of the time.
I am not wild about fear. It causes all kinds of problems. None of which can be solved by food. Speaking of food the girl scout cookies came today and I ate thin mints, more than enough. But I am satisfied and finished with them. I had my fill. I am going to respond to fear by reading uplifting things, by making positive statements in my head, by looking back at my life and seeing how many things I have overcome, and doing good, healthy things for myself.
posted by Cindy at
1:58 PM
2 Comments:
Good luck with your "relationship moment"!!! It sounds like you are being reasonable with both that and your eating and that is ALL GOOD. :-)
I am the same Cindy. And the longer I ruminate over the issue I have to confront, the worse the fear gets. Sometimes I find that the longer I ruminate the more abstract and unreal it gets. But looks as though you are really strong with feet firmly planted and rock solid, so can only have a good ending, whichever way. Who knows, maybe subconsciously once this has been resolved for you, you will see your weight coming down in a number of pounds. ar :>)
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