Taking the Weight Watchers Plunge and other Thoughts
I wrote out the checks, and registration is Thursday. I have to fill mine out today since I will be in a two day seminar learning how to be more tactful in my communications with others (a topic for another day). I am doing it. I have the last 20 pounds or maybe 15 to lose and it would be easy to just forget about it all but if I do that, I think I am in danger of going the opposite direction. I want a weekly meeting and a weigh-in. I want to see others trying to do the same thing each week. And, we are going into the eating holiday season so it is extra insurance for me not to gain.
For years my mom suggested WW but I did not want to spend the cash. Since I have been throwing cash around lately I decided to throw some in that direction. I got a raise and my increase easily pays for it if I need any further justification. Why I need to justify spending money to improve my life, or spend money on just me is another story, also. I am doing this for me, not even because I think I desperately need it but because I WANT it. I think I will LIKE it. For the pure and sole reason that I want it. I think it might even be fun. And I want fun. More fun, more people. I have stopped isolating. Isolating was a big part of being overweight. I now seek the company of people.
I want to seek other situations where I can share common interests with people. I am not ashamed of my appearance anymore. I do occasionally find myself comparing and feeling "less than" but I quickly get out of that frame of mind. Maybe it is shallow of me to have to lose weight to feel okay about being around people, and to some extent I still showed up and felt okay when I was heavier but not completely. There was an element of discomfort. My end of isolation has to do with other things as well. Progress in healing from other things. I am just happy to know that I am moving away from the isolation. I do enjoy quiet time and time alone to myself, but it is a different deal entirely.
A word about clothes. I have bought many things over the summer. I bought jeans over the past week or so, that I really like. When I was going through my summer things I felt a pang of sadness that summer is ending and I won't get to wear them anymore. I felt a fondness for them that is hard to describe. They were somehow dear to me. I realized how much I enjoyed wearing them and being in them. For the first time in so many years, I was comfortable and even felt great about being in my own skin. I had exciting and new experiences in them, met new people, went new places. I had a summer rich in experience. Some painful, some joyful, but all real, exciting and filled with the adventure of life.
I love the seasons. Summer is ending now and fall is moving in with crisp evenings and cozy garments. And mornings. I love mornings in the fall. The shock of the cold air to wake me as I step outside. I am happy it is here and I can't wait to see the colors. There is so much to experience just watching the earth put on her show year round. I am amazed and grateful to be a part of it all. Even though the same process takes place each year, it feels so new to me now. I feel new. And ready to go forward into a new life.
More will be revealed.
posted by Cindy at
10:46 AM
6 Comments:
I too, have thought about WW's, but I'm feeling better and ready to try this . . . one more time on my own.
Hope you have a good first meeting.
How do you feel about the "counting" - as in tracking the points/calories???
Because I don't think that you do this now - do you?
Believe it or not - I have been thinking about WW too - for many of the same reasons that you wrote.
I just have not decided whether or not I want/need to loose the last bits.
I'm looking forward to hearing about what you think, do, feel about all of this.
And for a long time - I thought "more will be revealed" was sort of a teaser - as in "I've got more going on, that I'll write about later", but it occurred to me the other day - that it might be that as you are peeling off layers**, more is actually being revealed TO YOU. And that is what you mean.
(**Lori's Layers - that's how I think of layers after Lori's AFG posting on layers off the bridge and all her cleaning out of the layers around her apt.)
Yes, more will be revealed is just that...more is revealed to me, and then I reveal it as I discover it. The counting is something I do on occasion and I don't mind doing it with regularity for a while. What I want also is the accountability, the weigh in with someone else and the extra support. It is so easy for me to wander off in my own little private world and creep back into old habits.
That's interesting Vickie. I too wondered what Cindy meant with more will be revealed. I loved Lori's post and printed it off and put into my diet notebook.
My sister is really into WW...she only had 15 pounds to lose post-last-baby, but she did it. She's now thinking of working with them. That's a good enough endorsement for me...go for it!! :-)
I love "more will be revealed"...we're all onions. :-)
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