Time for Rest

I have exhausted myself. I have been on a rewarding spiritual quest, a mission, a pilgrimage. That, in addition to working overtime at my job, being a mom/grandmother/daughter/ landlady/pet mommy, along with attempting to do some housework occasionally, and even having some sort of thing with a guy, has finally rendered me exhausted in all my ways.

But it is a fine state. A feeling of grand accomplishment accompanies it. I have earned my rest. Last night I laid down as soon as I got home from work. Then I got up and fed the kids. Then I went back to bed with some nice music. Then I got up and tried to watch a movie, got bored and went back to bed with music. Then up again to take the kids for ice cream- I had none, no desire for ice cream (amazing). Then back to bed, ah, the joy of bed and Handel's Messiah. I play The Messiah by George Frederick Handel when I go to bed often in times of great spiritual need. I love that piece of music. I highly recommend it. Handel wrote this entire piece in an astounding short time frame, inspired, and at a low point in his life after failing financially and suffering a stroke. It is most inspiring and comforting to me in times of great need.

I woke up tired this morning but fueled myself at my favorite coffee house while reading my meditations. Then I rejoiced a little while in my new and improved relationship with God. Now I am at work. I have sketched out a food plan for the day. I like to rough out a little plan when my eating has been a bit wacky and I want to stabilize and start losing again. I draw up a plan based on what food I have available and stick to some parameters of calories and type of food, whole grains, high fiber, lean protein and green leafies. That type of thing. That's what I do these days. I don't always stick to it but when I do it works. When I don't I tell myself I will do better tomorrow.

So today I am resting in my soul. My spiritual quest came to a dramatic climax Tuesday night. I have gained a deeper understanding of my life, my purpose and my relationship with a higher power that I call God. I feel at peace with it all today. It is a glorious state.

I have much work sitting on my desk here at the office and I will take each one at a time. When I feel tired I will appreciate it as perhaps an athlete might feel after running a marathon. I've never run a marathon but I feel I have run the spiritual marathon lately. Seeking constantly in faith to resolve the conflict within. Working hard at it instead of turning away or running in the opposite direction. Facing it over and over and not backing down. Doing the prep work. Not ever giving up. There is a tremendous satisfaction in my exhaustion.

More will be revealed.