Thursday, September 20, 2007

Starting Over Each Day



This week has been up and down. Monday I was in the depths of despair after a visit with my son the day before. Tuesday was hopeful. Wednesday was marred by just a slight simple e-mail from the recent ex that prompted me to experience the anger, humiliation, sadness etc. of that episode all over again. I have been over eating, and I am bloated. I feel like I am in full blown PMS and I am pissed at the hormone thing for putting back in a cycle. But all this is not the point of this little post.

Here is what I do. Each day I start over fresh with a clean slate. I get up and choose to live the best way I can with all of my circumstances. I also choose to let myself be human today and not expect myself to be perfect. I don't "should" myself about being sad over my sons and their situation anymore. What mother wouldn't feel sad about that? I feel the feelings and let them pass. They always pass. If I ate too much the day before I chalk it up and start again. It does not dictate my today anymore.

Life is mysterious, we never truly know what is in store for us each day. We can make plans and we can follow them, but there are all kinds of variables. And that makes life even more exciting I suppose. I have daily readings I use every morning. I rarely miss. They are to build and maintain my faith. I don't have a particular religion right now but I believe I have faith. That is how I renew myself each morning and then I let the day unfold.

I don't know what is in store for me on this Thursday morning. I know I feel like I have been inflated like one of those Thanksgiving Day parade balloons. But I also know that it will pass. So will the hangover of feelings from that guy thing. So will the guilt from eating too much stuff the past few days. All is well even when I cannot see it. All my needs are provided for and I have more than enough. Today is new and fresh. I can start my life all over again if I want to. I am not chained to the past habits or events.

I think I will go sit on the patio now and do my daily readings. I took this picture in the city one day. As I was taking several shots of the crosses I realized I could line up all three if I stood in just the right place. I have an attraction to religous art and symbols of Christianity.

I almost forgot to add, more will be revealed!

2 Comments:

Blogger Helen said...

Cindy...your heart-centeredness is just what I needed to read today...to remember what is REALLY important. I need to remember to try to get there each morning...Thanks!

8:00 PM  
Blogger Lori G. said...

Cindy, I truly admire how you can take a bad day and find good in it and in fact, build on it for another day. We are all only human and yet we all seem to think we "should be" something or other.

Thank you for a beautiful post.

10:38 PM  

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