Overwhelmedness
Buela's new word describes my life at the moment, fraught with overwhelmedness. Work is enormous. One lawyer took vacation this week and some of her messes are coming my way, along with some of her other projects. Stuff she sat on for months suddenly has to be my top priority along with all the other urgent stuff. I feel like crying at work often this week. I have quality of life issues. My grandson has issues, my daughter has issues, I have issues. My head hurts each day, and I feel very, very, very tired. All the time.
I had to say all that. Had to let it out. I take each piece of work one at a time and try to do the best I can with it. I try not to think of the whole list at once. Just what I am doing at the moment. But there is so much, and no end in sight. I want to take vacation time but two weeks of July are eaten up with two week long business trips for something I don't even want to do anymore because I cannot imagine how I will have time with my doubled work load. I am becoming disgruntled. I sometimes loath my job and resent people here. I do not like that attitude at all.
I need to sit in quiet meditation for a while, take a walk, something to re-connect with my peaceful side. I did manage a long walk with doggie last night over some steep hills. It was relaxing and strenuous all at the same time. I know I can do this. And the job is a good one, and I want to rise up to the occasion here and perform well under all this pressure. I want to shine. I want a big fat raise when performance review time comes. I don't want to be a whining basket case. I feel like one but I am not going to actually be one. Whining basket cases get bad reviews, low increases and sometimes get canned. I can't afford that at the moment so I will shine.
I am not driven to binging over this (yet) but I did see an increase in munching in the evening but have kept it to foods that are not so bad. Hopefully I can lose a bit this week. And I certainly do not want a gain. That would only add to the overwhelmedness.
The protein shake I made yesterday was ick, and lumpy. I am not sure what went wrong but I am trying again today. My morning did not permit me to pack a lunch. I am not prepared.
I am going to go take some deep breaths and read a meditation.
Thanks for listening.
I had to say all that. Had to let it out. I take each piece of work one at a time and try to do the best I can with it. I try not to think of the whole list at once. Just what I am doing at the moment. But there is so much, and no end in sight. I want to take vacation time but two weeks of July are eaten up with two week long business trips for something I don't even want to do anymore because I cannot imagine how I will have time with my doubled work load. I am becoming disgruntled. I sometimes loath my job and resent people here. I do not like that attitude at all.
I need to sit in quiet meditation for a while, take a walk, something to re-connect with my peaceful side. I did manage a long walk with doggie last night over some steep hills. It was relaxing and strenuous all at the same time. I know I can do this. And the job is a good one, and I want to rise up to the occasion here and perform well under all this pressure. I want to shine. I want a big fat raise when performance review time comes. I don't want to be a whining basket case. I feel like one but I am not going to actually be one. Whining basket cases get bad reviews, low increases and sometimes get canned. I can't afford that at the moment so I will shine.
I am not driven to binging over this (yet) but I did see an increase in munching in the evening but have kept it to foods that are not so bad. Hopefully I can lose a bit this week. And I certainly do not want a gain. That would only add to the overwhelmedness.
The protein shake I made yesterday was ick, and lumpy. I am not sure what went wrong but I am trying again today. My morning did not permit me to pack a lunch. I am not prepared.
I am going to go take some deep breaths and read a meditation.
Thanks for listening.
posted by Cindy at
10:48 AM
3 Comments:
Mark's secretary at his last job is now a teller in a bank. She took a pay cut. She sends glowing emails about being reborn. She goes on and on about a job with no deadlines. I think she was actually skipping in the last email. You have a stress full, ego dominated job. I think I might rather be a nurse. Well...maybe not. Sit in your prayer chair or walk your prayer walk. It is prevention not procrastination. Take care.
In case it helps (misery loves company, right?), I feel your pain. Why? I'm a paralegal too. And, while, most of my attorneys are fantastic, one of them tends to let things sit on his desk until they are critical and then pass them to me to handle...so it looks like I'm the loser who is sitting on stuff for months! Grrrr.
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