Learning

Last week I learned some things. For one thing bananas do not agree with me at all, in fact they cause problems. And, wheat does not work either, it causes problems as well. The reason I had these foods was because I was not prepared. And because I was not convinced they would cause trouble, I thought I could handle them. While bananas are not binge food, they clog me up for days. It's like eating glue or something. Or maybe concrete before it hardens, and then it hardens in my system. Wheat just leads to more wheat, and some other digestive stuff. So I learned. Be prepared, no bananas, and avoid the wheat. It hasn't been a pleasant couple of days. I was plain pissed off that I can't handle certain foods. I did some wallowing in self pity for not being "normal". And rebellion welled up.

I know also that caffeine is problematic, but I just can't give it up yet. Not today. I guess it has not made me miserable enough. I am bargaining, can I give up the wheat and sugar, and keep the caffeine? Maybe tomorrow.

I prepared for tomorrow, already have a lunch made. A menu planned. I feel some acceptance moving in.

I went to the gym yesterday morning which was a great step for me to end the three month boycott. I found myself irritable, frustrated and impatient this weekend, but now moving back towards a more peaceful state. It takes effort. And I am willing to make that effort today.